Archive for September, 2019

Thought you all might like to read part two in this series. Refreshers are always good…especially after difficult times. A time to look back and reflect…and learn.


Part Two of this post brings me to a truly enormous learning curve. It’s not all about me. And that’s one of the major problems we all face in today’s culture. Bombarded with the deception if it fe…


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 Last week would have been our celebration of 43 years of marriage. But God chose to take Dick home on the 22nd of August, 2019.  No surprise to God, but I was overwhelmed with grief…and the past weeks have been difficult to say the least. Yesterday, September 6th, we celebrated Dick’s life with friends and family. And the peace of God’s presence have calmed the waters of fear that threatened to drown me. I don’t know what’s ahead…but God does. Dick’s with Jesus…seeing Him face to face…how can I do anything but praise my Lord and Savior and than Him for the years He gave us. What about you? Where does God find you today. A treasured friend reposted my blog from three years ago…might want to read it….

Dick and I have just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary and while it was a great time of celebration…

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Last week I posted the first of the series on grief I wrote “Grief’s Ugly Step-Sisters” and there was such response, I am again reposting the next post “The Road to Our New Normal.” I pray this post helps those of you new to this tedious journey. Be sure to let us know how  you’re doing and if we can help!

We are the object of attention—until the day after the funeral. That’s when everyone’s life returns to normal. Everyone else’s life, that is.

But not ours.

It’s like we’re on the outside looking in. We humans want to fit in, we’re miserable when we don’t. And in the aftermath of grief we don’t belong. Anywhere. We’ve been stuffed in a sack, shaken up and dumped out. Forever changed.

There’s good news and bad news about grief. The bad news? We will never be the same again. The good news?…

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Many of you know my husband went home to be with the Lord a little over a week ago. I’d love to tell you one trip through grief makes the next one easier…maybe…maybe not. Every grief is unique. But I thought maybe some of you missed this series when I first posted in 2012…and I’m rereading and learning too. Many blessings and the peace of God’s comfort to each one of you grieving the loss of a loved one.


Those of you who follow my blog know my husband and I lost a daughter eleven years ago. Michelle’s death plunged us into deep, inky waters of grief. While struggling just to survive we were blind-sided by Grief’s ugly-step-sisters—Secondary Losses.

Grief is an unwelcome guest who stays much too long, not pretty at all, who plunges the family into chaos. But Secondary Losses are the evil relatives of Grief that slip in the back-door and linger forever. They litter the landscape with shrapnel-sized-shards of anguish that are often as difficult to deal with as the original loss.

Worse yet, they lurk behind the shadow of family members, good friends, even making appearances at happy events. Ever waiting to earn the greatest buck-for-the-bang and then they implode. The injuries they inflict are not terminal, but often perpetrate permanent disabilities upon their victims.

So what in the world are secondary losses?


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