I know you’ve heard the following statement a jillion times. “People are the product of their environment.” Some folks wear that statement like a badge of honor, but that’s not necessarily true.
We all know people who came from wonderful homes and someway, somehow, they took a one-eighty and ended up destroying their lives. And then there are individuals from terrible circumstances who determine to endure and learn to live joy filled, successful lives.
In either situation, everything depends upon your heart, your choices, your character, and your God.
The year was 1921 on a snowy Christmas Sunday morning in Sebrell, Virginia, Christine Bell Davis arrived in this world. She was sixth in a line of thirteen children—seven survived.
If success depended on environment, my Mama would have been a failure before she began. Her mother was married five times and their home was a movie epic titled Dysfunction. Yet a determined will to prevail filled my mother’s young heart from the beginning.
In her later years Mama wrote a book for her children and grandchildren, a legacy to show how different life was in pre-World War II years and beyond.
The first two husbands provided for the family and life, while not affluent, was certainly average or above. But as the list of husbands grew life changed. Especially as their income slipped below the poverty line. And one of Mama’s old quotes certainly applies here: “When money problems come in the front door, love goes out the back.”
At age nine, Mama, her parents, and five children (at that time) walked from Augusta, Georgia, to Jacksonville, Florida, on the promise of a job for the current step-father. That was the summer of 1931. And, if you remember, the stock market had crashed in October of 1929. The depression was in full swing and the country was in chaos. People had lost their homes, their savings, and their jobs. There was no money for bus fare. No car to drive and even if they had a car, no money for gas. No. Money.
They ate when food was offered by kind farmers, slept on bare floors in empty houses along the way—no electricity or running water. But even then the hand of God was on my Mama. This rag-tag group made it safely to Jacksonville. Finally. Mama has no idea how long the journey took other than a long, very long time.
Old deserted St. Vincent’s Hospital in Jacksonville was used to give shelter to the needy. And they were needy. The family set up housekeeping and Mama was allowed to enroll in school again. But after so many moves and never finishing a grade, she was placed in the second grade. However, Mama was a good student; and, in spite of several more moves, she skipped portions of the third, fourth, and fifth grades and by early 1934 she was back with her proper age group in sixth grade.
The following year, without explanation, her mother sent her to a small town outside Jacksonville to live with an unknown family on a farm. She didn’t remember their names and never knew why she had been sent away.
When she returned home the following year the family was falling apart. Another husband was in the home and several children had run away. My mother’s mom took a job in a small community near Jacksonville and took their younger brother with her. But she left Mama and her eleven year sister in the care of their seventeen-year-old sister. Three girls alone, with no money. Not wanting to care for them, the elder sister put the younger girl on a bus and sent her to their mother. Then without telling my Mama, the older sister left.
Mama was thirteen, by herself and frightened. She found a distant cousin, with five children of her own, who made arrangements for Mama to attend a camp for underprivileged children for two weeks. But this lonely thirteen-year-old had to walk three miles to catch the bus for camp.
When she returned her mother placed she and the eleven year old sister in the Parental Home for Girls and their brother in the Boys Home. Mama admitted being angry, but also said it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Again, God was in charge of Mama’s life. Keeping her safe. Providing situations and people to nurture endurance and strength of character in her and teach her life skills.
The next few years were secure, happy years, and Mama excelled.
But the year Mama was to be a senior in high school her mother took her out of the Parental Home and was told she must work to help provide income for the family. There were no social services to intervene. You obeyed your parents.
A couple of years after that Mama met my Daddy and the rest is history. They married, had two children, three grandchildren, and lived together fifty-five years ‘til Mama’s death.
This godly woman taught her children the principles of God’s Word by the way she lived and treated others. Mama loved to sing and cook. Her favorite sayings: “Actions are caught—not taught.” And, “If you don’t want to get in trouble—don’t be where trouble can happen. . .” have stuck in my head through the years and I’ve passed them on to my children and grandchildren.
We weren’t a wealthy family by the world’s standards but she and Daddy provided a secure home for my brother and me. They cared for us and loved us and their grandchildren.
In the final months of her life Alzheimer’s had robbed Mama of almost everything. She was in the hospital when I called to check on her one evening. The nurse said Mama was groaning about something and they couldn’t find out what was bothering her.
I asked the young woman if she was familiar with church hymns. She said “yes,” so I asked her to go, lean down close to Mama and let me know what she was saying. It must have been four or five minutes before the nurse returned. I could tell she was weeping, when she gasped, “I can’t believe it. Your Mama isn’t groaning. She’s singing Amazing Grace.”
Mama knew God’s Word and held onto His Truths. She knew first hand: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11 NAS).
Could you have weathered a childhood of destitution? Dysfunction? Despair? How about your children? If all their toys and cushy way of life was suddenly snatched away who or what would they cling to?
Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NAS).
And He promises, “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:2-3 NAS).
Through all the trials and heartaches Mama’s heart was fixed on Jesus. And she served her Lord by helping others. She refused to allow her environment to define who she was. She chose to trust God in the terrible circumstances and endure the trials He allowed in her life. And today her heart is at peace with her Lord. Her King. Forever. Just like Jesus promised.
Simply beautiful, DiAne
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She’s a special lady, Barbara. I pray when times get tough I’ll have the strength and courage she has.
DiAne
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Thank you for telling your mother’s story. What a picture of God’s amazing grace and power!
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Anne, this is only a small portion of her story and God’s provision and care for her. I would love to have quoted Habakkuk 3:16-19 but I was already long in words. Those words would have been the cry of Mama’s heart. Thank you for reading and commenting.
DiAne
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Amazing Grace, amazing Christine. Thanks,DiAne.
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Yes, Shel. She was an amazing lady.
DiAne
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The depression left it mark on the people of that generation, your mother was one of the troopers. She came out on the other side to create a family ;and a meaningful life. Didn’t you tell me “we are who we are because of our mothers. Love you.
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Yes Mary, and I believe that. Think of the love, time, energy, prayers, work, worry… I could go on but you get the picture…that our mothers poured into our lives. And we have repeated those learned lessons into the lives of our children and grandchildren. Knowing you, your mom had to have been a trooper also! Love you too.
DiAne
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And you, DiAne, are a lovely example of your mama’s saying: “Actions are caught, not taught.” She must have pitched you many pictures of courage, determination, faith, and love for the Lord.
And — beautifully written.
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Kathleen, I believe the ladies from our mothers’ generation were the picture of the Proverbs 31 women. I wish I had had the strength of my mom. She was one tough lady, and like you I miss my Mama.
DiAne
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Aunt DiAne, You could not have written this any better for someone who didn’t know her. It is a perfect picture of Nana. You know me and I couldn’t get even a quarter of the way through it with out crying. Not tears of sadness, happy joyful tears that others can catch a glimpse of just how amazing my Nana was. I miss her everyday and hope she knows just how much she helped shaped the person I am today. Thank you 🙂 I love you!!!!!
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And sweetheart, I put off writing this for several weeks. God had already spoken to my heart about it right after I wrote “My Father’s Hands”. But the task seemed monumental. Wednesday or Thursday I sat down and picked up Mama’s book and read it all the way through in one sitting. I was overwhelmed and found myself in front of the keyboard with a box of Kleenex pounding out the words.
Nana was indeed the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman. When you have time, pick up your Bible and read that chapter. Many women today have lost the blueprint God laid out for us to follow during our short lives on this earth. And have also forgotten we have eternity after that…with our Lord or separated from Him forever.
I love you, precious niece.
Aunt DiAne
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I remember she always had a welcoming home and some of the best sweet tea I’ve ever had to enjoy with great conversation. ❤️ Love you Mimi!! xoxo
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And Sarah, Mama loved you two girls too. I think she wanted to be sure everyone knew they were welcome in the Nickels house. Love you too, sweetheart. And enjoy seeing pictures of those mini replicas of you.
DiAne
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So beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this image of your Mama with us!
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Pat, thank you so much for reading and replying to my post. Your words encourage my heart.
DiAne
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What an amazing story. Your moms story is so inspiring. What an incredible women.
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Yes Holly, she is amazing. And she serves an Amazing God. Thanks for reading and responding. I post about every ten days. Please join our WordPress family.
DiAne
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Reblogged this on Holly Michael's Writing Straight and commented:
Another Amazing Mama story. Love to read about people who thrive in spite of all the odds against them.
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I can tell this was written from your heart, Diane. Well done.
I couldn’t help but to think of my mother-in-law while I read this. Although born after the depression she, too, suffered under the pathetic child care system of that time period. She suffered some horrendous events in her youth after her mother’s death from surgical error. Yet, she has the sweetest disposition of almost anybody I’ve met. Jesus didn’t become her personal Savior until she was well into her adult years.
Just goes to show how much responsibility each of us has over our life.
I’m glad Holly reblogged this.
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Life is all about choices isn’t it, Wade. From the moment we rise in the morning ’til we close our eyes at night. Our most important choice is to be quiet and listen and respond to God’s Spirit. Thanks for reading and responding. I’ve subscribed to and enjoyed your blogs also.
DiAne
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I have to thank Holly for directing me to this lovely blog. It is a great story of how one can not just survive and endure but to thrive in spite of one’s circumstances.
The touch of the Master’s hand makes a difference in one’s life. I know it surely has in mine. Whenever the bad memories surface I remind myself that God is working it all for good.
You are very fortunate to have had such a wonderful living example to live by.
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Yes, I am. And excited to have the opportunity to be with my mother and many others together with our Lord forever. We lost our twenty-eight-year-old daughter thirteen years ago and have lived to see God take a very bad thing and bring good out of it. I’m a GriefShare facilitator and have written several articles on the blog about grief and loss. There are about three or four of them beginning with the one entitled Grief’s Ugly Step-sisters”. God’s Word is true and not one particle of it will change or go unfulfilled. Thanks for reading and responding. You encourage my heart.
DiAne
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Thank you!
I am gearing up, and am very excited, to decorate a tree for our local Hospice’s Festival of Trees.
God is good and he minister’s to us where we are and takes us where we need to go.
Keep up the positive work.
I am going to keep up with you blog.
I hope you will check out mine.
Juju
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Juju, thank you for reading and commenting on my blog and I will certainly read yours.
I have a stone in my garden engraved with the words “Bloom where God plants you.” Many twists and turns of life aren’t pleasant at the time, but God promises His children He will always bring some good out of every situation. When our twenty-eight year old daughter died thirteen years ago I clung to Deuteronomy 29:29, but thank goodness God was holding onto me. ‘Cause I didn’t see where any good could come from that tragedy.
The past eleven years I’ve been a GriefShare facilitator and have watched God work miracles of comfort and healing I would never have seen had we not walked that twisted journey. Have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. Look forward to getting to know you through our blogs.
DiAne
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What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Heart wrenching…yet heart warming…inspiring. We are such a pampered lot and can only hope to exemplify her same courage and strength in difficult situations. It can’t be counterfeited.
Starr
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Starr, I’ve often wondered, could I have done what she did? And the answer I come up with is always “no”. You’re right, we are blessed beyond measure and don’t recognize the blessings or take time to be thankful for each and every one of them. I love Ann Voskamp’s book 1,000 Blessings.And started my list last year. Even then, I’m not faithful to record daily blessings.
DiAne
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